SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi,

Posting this in general to get more responses.

Has anyone got experience of a their wayward or being a wayward and doing EMDR therapy?

What was worked on? What were the results?

Also if any betrayed partners have used EMDR, did it help?

Betrayed spouse here. It helped me. It was not what I was expecting in its methods. It’s not just eye movement desensitization, my IC also used little paddles that vibrated alternatively in each palm. It essentially (in my experience) unsettles the brain and allows for expansive thought. While the 30 second pulse run, or eye movement run was going on, she would have me think of a specific thought and doors would open to other ideas/thoughts. It really allowed me to open up and express things that I may have been subliminally suppressing. Once we could uncover hidden thoughts, we were then able to dive in and work on them.

Hope this info was helpful.

[This message edited by Copingmybest at 11:22 AM, Wednesday, August 6th]

Did it help with any symptoms such as anxiety, grief, guilt?

It taught me to see what mattered and what didn’t. I had plenty of grief, I was depressed and suicidal the first several months. I felt like an absolute worthless human that wasn’t lovable. It helped me to learn the underlying reasons I may feel that way and then we could work on addressing those issues. It’s not an actual cure, it’s a tool to help uncover underlying issues. Grief is a natural reaction to trauma, guilt is what drive one to want to change for the better. Anxiety can be addressed in IC by learning to love yourself because you know your worth. Are you the Wayward spouse. I’m beginning to feel you may be.

Betrayed spouse here. Yes I used it. I had about 5 months worth of sessions. It helped with anxiety, we picked apart the most traumatic moments and essentially took the sting out of them. Tough work but worth it. Haven't time to write more ATM sorry but feel free to reach out if you have any questions

I consult a therapist about issues on here. Her expertise is EMDR. It is to "dig out" all those negative hidden messages from childhood on. Our brains can’t handle but so much terror, despair so it puts them away where our conscious brain can’t access them. The problem is they are what drives our responses to stressful situations. Once they are brought out into the sunlight their power is diminished but most people probably still need "talk" therapy.

Think about how you drive a car. Probably 90+% is by rote. You don’t have to think about it, you just do it. Your hidden memories are running your life by rote. Simple example…every time you get into an uncomfortable situation and someone frowns your subconscious brain goes right back to your childhood when a frown meant a put down, a slap etc. Your body becomes riddled with anxiety and your response is exactly what it was as a child. You might shut down. You might stutter. You might get enraged but your response is not to the present. It is to the trigger. All this is done without you recognizing you are replaying your pain. Every time.

Find a therapist recommended and see if you fit. And good luck.

[This message edited by Cooley2here at 10:08 PM, Wednesday, August 6th]