Got pregnant during reconciliation, now hes chnaged his mind and is leaving
Hi everyone. I’m struggling badly tonight and could really use perspective from people who understand reconciliation after infidelity.
For perspective, I am the partner who betrayed. D day was Feb 20th.
Part of our reconciliation process involved reconnecting emotionally and trying to rebuild our family. At one point, my husband told me he wanted another baby with me. Looking back now, maybe that wasn’t the healthiest decision while we were still so fragile, but at the time it felt like hope. It felt like maybe we were truly choosing each other again.
We didn’t exactly "try," but we stopped preventing it with the mindset of "if it happens, it happens." It happened very quickly.
When I found out I was pregnant, he was initially genuinely happy. We talked about how to make room for a third child, future plans, logistics, names, finances.. all of it. For a little while, things honestly felt okay again. Not perfect, but hopeful.
Then a trigger happened that brought all the betrayal pain rushing back for him. Ever since then, it feels like everything completely shifted overnight. The anger, resentment, and hurt came back full force, and now he’s saying he can’t do this anymore. He’s talking about leaving me while I’m pregnant with our third child and raising two small children already. And the hardest part is that I think he means it.
I know I caused the original damage. I know my betrayal changed him and changed our marriage. I’m not trying to avoid accountability for that. But emotionally, I feel like I’m drowning trying to process how we went from planning for this baby together to me suddenly feeling abandoned and terrified.
I think part of what hurts so much is that this pregnancy became tied in my mind to reconciliation and rebuilding our family together. Now I don’t even know what’s real anymore.
I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced reconciliation seeming hopeful and then collapsing after a trigger months later. Did things stabilize again? Or was that the point where everything finally broke?
Side note: Ive been going to therapy, went no contact with affair partner, working on myself while still trying to be a present mom. I feel genuine remorse and regret for all of it. I wish I could take it back. My husband doesnt see the effort sometimes and thinks I'll never change. He screams in my face, name calls, does this in front of the kids. And now is leaving me pregnant. At what point do I stop taking the punishment?
5 comments posted: Thursday, May 28th, 2026
