SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

IC was a lifeline for me, but like others said, I went through a couple to get the right one.
My first IC helped immediately after D-Day when I was so so raw. But she was more focused on my WH not me, so I found a different one. He was great— he helped me get back on my feet and on my way to healing. After about 2 years I took a year off from IC but went back when I realized there were things in my new life I could do better at and I found a third IC.

LIke the other said, you heal yourself but it is great for them to help you see what you are missing, help you formulate your thoughts, point out when you are ignoring the obvious and recognize patterns that I was repeating.

Good luck!

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate all the advice, it’s been helpful to read about all the different experiences… both the positive and negative.

I did decide to talk to my Dr. last Thursday, he admitted that I’ve probably struggled for an abnormal amount of time. He prescribed an antidepressant to help short term and to make talking about it easier, I am scheduled to start counseling in January… I’ve been putting together a list of what I’d like to get from counseling. I’ve never taken an antidepressant or any other medication for mental health but was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety as a child so I can see that being an indicator that my nervous system doesn’t function properly. I didn’t really consider that before. I’m hoping counseling can help give me the mental tools I need to move forward.

Some of you asked… and I have shared all of this with my husband. He is aware of my triggers and often times helps me avoid them. He is very aware of all the struggles I’ve had and how it’s affected me. I can honestly say he is extremely sympathetic and I know I can go to him at any time. He has never gotten defensive and I’m thankful for that. He has been very sensitive of my feelings and tries not to do anything to make me uncomfortable. At this point I really feel the struggle is internal. Ultimately I don’t feel it’s his fault that I’ve responded as badly as I have… though I did admit to him that I’m probably too dependent on him and would like to work on that. He’s been my primary confidant since we were 16…. and for the most part not a lot of people know what we’ve been through.