SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I've been on SI for close to ten years now.

To me, SI is like a cocoon that is super BS friendly.

Here at SI we don't laugh at anyone's A's.

We don't blame the BS for not meeting the WS's needs.

We don't blame the BS for missing signs that the A is going on .

ETC. etc.

These recent A's in the news sadly proves that the world outside of SI is BS unfriendly.

This is the Steve Smith A.

The BS , Tony, got assailed mercilessly for filming the confrontation between himself and Steve Smith and exposing the A online.

Tons of people mocked that Tony shouldn't of exposed the A so publicly because the wife cheated on Tony because Tony wasn't meeting the "wife's needs".

The kiss cam incident left the whole internet laughing for months.

The kiss cam incident made NBC new's 2025 cultural moments review.

Now, the internet is laughing at Sherrone Moore.

Sherrone's wife , Kelli, is catching heat because she didn't find out about the two year affair sooner.

Sad unfriendly world for BS's outside of SI

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 5:28 PM, Wednesday, December 17th]

So sad....
I pray loyalty in marriage has a resurgence.

Years ago I watched the actress Ashley Judd walk onto a stage in a beautiful dress and looking like a dream. She opened her mouth and absolute filth came out. She then talked about being an actress and a Ky sports fan. All that foul language is what showed up on her computer every day. These were strangers whose vile language was used as abuse. There was no reason for it. These were strangers hiding behind a screen
I have watched reporters ask questions to get people stirred up. It makes money. Every time you look at a "news" site it earns it money.
Whatever generates money will always get negatives because other people respond.
Take what you read with a pinch of salt. In fact be aware enough not to look.

If the real world was more understanding of BS, I don't think online support would be as necessary.

Blameshifting is the cultural norm. Is SI right? Well I think so. Maybe society is right, but there is no way I could have healed if I took any amount of responsibility for my wife's affair.

Blaming the BS makes others feel safe. They're not as naive or clueless as the BS. Or, they're better partners. That would never happen to them.

At Cooley, im not ranting about the trash the medias of the world ( Hollywood and music town USA included) churns out.

Im upset that clueless non BS'S consumes all that sh*t and believe it and go on social media and laugh at people's misfortune and bash the BS'S like Tony Martinez and blame him for the A.

Edit to add.

The world outside of SI is quite BS unfriendly.

I, Dorothy, was conditioned ever since I can watch TV and listened to music that A's are

1) funny * barf *

2) harmless * barf *

3) romantic * barf *

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 6:08 AM, Thursday, December 18th]

WoodThrush,

So sad....
I pray loyalty in marriage has a resurgence.

I certainly hope so too.

Thisisfine,

Blameshifting is the cultural norm. Is SI right? Well I think so. Maybe society is right,

Maybe you should start a thread debating this subject.

Many of our members here enjoy a good debate.

Cocoplus

Blaming the BS makes others feel safe. They're not as naive or clueless as the BS. Or, they're better partners. That would never happen to them

True !

I’m not sure if it’s my location, my age group, or just the circles I run in, but in my experience, the world has finally caught up with the sentiment that the cheater is the 'bad guy' in 99.9% of cases.

In most situations, people aren't sympathizing with the unfaithful partner; they’re laughing at them for getting caught and cheering on the betrayed spouse to take them to the cleaners in court.

Honestly, the only time I see any friction toward a betrayed spouse is when people criticize those who choose to reconcile. While I understand why people feel that way, I also empathize with the difficulty of that choice

The cultural norm is definitely that the cheater is the "bad guy" but that somehow the BS contributed. Most blameshifting is of the "partial" sort rather than a full buy in of the unmet needs fallacy.

This is my observation and in contrast, the cultural norm for a beaten spouse is that the abuser is fully to blame. There is always some small circle of people willing to victim blame, but the cultural norm in a physical abuse scenario is 100% fault of the abuser.

Just a quick aside about this,

While I see the same articles regarding these "situations" mentioned here, on social media, when I look at the comments on those individual stories, they all tend to echo the same responses I would find on SI and other infidelity boards.
A lot of times, diametrically opposed to the opinions written in the article itself.
Either the "journalists" live in a different world or they are purposefully agitating for clicks and comments.
Which I don’t really understand as all social media monetization has been lowered so much that it amounts to pennies instead of dollars now.

Dorothy, my point was that every time something comes up in public where strangers can vote, or comment, you are going to get responses that break your heart. That singer’s concert remark where a couple hugged was meant to be fun. There were enough people worldwide that went after the husband of one and the wife of another. They knew no more than I but they felt entitled to comment. Your pain comes right back every time you see, or read, something like that.

The only thing I can suggest is to use the net for fun. Look at The Dodo. It’s a site about animals, all kinds of animals. The will probably help you smile.

I am so sorry you are hurting now. I hope things get better in the new year.

the world has finally caught up with the sentiment that the cheater is the 'bad guy' in 99.9% of cases.

While the cheater is the bad guy, far too many people subscribe to the "the betrayed MUST have done (or not done) something" to have the spouse or partner cheat. Thus they blame the betrayed.

Songs, books, movies, TV, social media all portray affairs as two people who are just meant to be together instead of two lying cheating snakes who are destroying families etc.

And for those who choose to R, far too many people look down their noses and judge the betrayed negatively.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 6:09 PM, Thursday, December 18th]