crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 10:20 PM on Tuesday, May 26th, 2026
I also learned here about the zombie marriage that was possible, the one that would have me giving much less encouraging updates every ten years. I knew pretty much the whole time that that was to be avoided at all fucking costs.
That's what my M was headed for. I had become a zombie in my M 
I stayed waaaay too long but I guess needed that time to get strong enough to leave.
I am happy to read your update and am glad life is going so well for you!
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
InkHulk (original poster member #80400) posted at 2:07 PM on Wednesday, May 27th, 2026
He hits me up for advice now.
When I was binging Gottman content, I remember being struck by the principle that a healthy relationship involves mutual influence. That to say that your statement there feels to me like the ultimate state of parenting adults. I tip my hat to you, sir.
People are more important than the relationships they are in.
InkHulk (original poster member #80400) posted at 2:12 PM on Wednesday, May 27th, 2026
Sounds like you are getting there. Every year will bring a new stage of healing until you are just living your life.
I wouldn’t be where I am without you, of that I have no doubt.
We plan for another year of nesting. It’s gone well enough that I’m glad to have done it for the kids. But it remains a connection to an old life. We shall see what the next few years bring, I’m hopeful.
People are more important than the relationships they are in.
