SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

If you are a WS, and you left your long term spouse and kids, to be with your AP.

Does it mean, you love your AP very much? So much that it's more than decades of marriage and your kids?

Is it all worth it?

When do you feel regret?

Will you feel regret?

Do you ever miss your origional family at all? The lives that you spent together, especially when life was content and happy mostly?

You might want to ask this in the Wayward forum. There's a thread for questions from BS to WS.

There is a thread " BS questions for WS" in the I Can Relate forum. That would be a good place for your question.

The only APs you typically find in infidelity support groups are the ones who learned the hard way that "how you get them is how you lose them," finding themselves in the exact same position when that spouse inevitably cheats on them too. That alone should tell you something about the quality of the "love" they thought they were choosing.

The why is probably burning you alive, and I am sorry you find yourself in this position. But leaving a marriage and children for an AP is rarely a measure of true love for the new person. It is an act driven by limerence, escape, and deep emotional cowardice.

He is chasing an illusion. It is easy to play "soulmates" when a relationship exists entirely in a bubble of secrecy and dopamine. This choice is almost never worth it. You may never know how deeply he will regret it, but I have every reason to believe he will.

He may act cold, indifferent, or blissfully detached right now to justify his choices because facing the reality of what he destroyed is too heavy for his ego. But that loss will eventually catch up to him.

Please remember that his choices are not a reflection of your worth or the validity of the life you built together. You were enough; he was simply too weak to value what he had.